Friday, February 10, 2012

Post about the father parenting via facebook.....

If you have not seen the video, go here:

facebook father

While I found this video to be incredibly funny, I am not sure how much I agree with his technique. The girl was extremely disrespectful, completely and undeniably wrong. And, shooting her laptop may have been the perfect message to send (I would have sold it personally, laptops cost a lot of money) but why do it publicly?

I realize that not every parent desires to raise their children up from a Godly standpoint, but doesn't every parent want their kids to speak highly of them? How in the world is this situation going to keep her from talking badly about her parents?

I guess I can just speak from personal opinion here. I want my daughter to find safety in me. I FULLY realize that she is not always going to like me, or the things I make her do. She has already made that perfectly clear at the age of two. But I hope that I only catch her complaining about the things I make her do, not complaining about me, or talking badly about me to her friends. I can say that without a doubt, I never said one negative thing about my parents, only the fact that I hated the things they made me do. My parents were strict, they had rules, they made us do chores, and I hated those things. But I never bashed who my parents were.

What I am getting at here is that harsh and strict discipline should be done in private. I feel like if this father really cared about getting to the heart of why this happened, he wouldn't have posted it for the whole world to see. In my opinion, I think he was just sticking up for himself, or maybe proving to the world that he wasn't going to take that disrespect laying down. But parenting is not about what the world sees. Its about your relationship with your child. I don't see how this is going to build more respect in their relationship.

To be clear. I believe in discipline. Every form. But discipline is for the sole purpose of teaching YOUR CHILD what is right and wrong, to show YOUR CHILD that you do not approve of their behavior. It is not to show THE WORLD that you refuse to be a negligent parent. If your child's behavior changes, the people around you will see that, and will automatically infer that action was taken to change it.

Every parent has a right to discipline/raise/encourage their children the way they see fit, but if you are going to post your parenting on the internet, you open the door for scrutiny and disagreement.

Props to you, facebook dad, for taking action and following through with what you warned your child about. But extreme failure (in my opinion) for making it a public event. I truly hope that for the sake of your relationship, that this does not completely ruin who you are in your daughters eyes, because at 16 years old, the biggest thing that that girl needs (regardless of what a brat she is) is to know that you, her father, love her and have her best interest at heart. Even if it is while shooting her laptop full of bullets.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Dear Husbands....

Ok, or the ladies who are reading who have a husband......because I don't think any guys actually read this (well aside from my husband because I make him.)

Here is my Valentines day challenge (of sorts) for you:

Make your wife feel:
Otherwise she is just "too tired."

Come on, I know you have heard that one before. But rather than putting the blame on your wife for why you didn't get laid (yes I totally just said that, but I am married, and I am talking to married people, so that is perfectly acceptable. God said so.) why not give some thought to your interactions with her throughout the day?

Are you skimming out the door with a just kiss on the cheek? Are you complaining that your work clothes aren't clean? Have you called her just to say that you love her? Have you offered to get up in the night with the child who won't go back to sleep? Have you told her that it is perfectly acceptable that the dishes weren't done? Have you called her beautiful when she was wearing her sweats and a ratty t-shirt....for the third day in a row? Have you thanked her.....for anything......not pertaining to your immediate needs? Have you praised her for a creative meal, or a clever way of organizing? Do you ask her about her day? If you are answering no.......eeek. No good.

Stare at her. Appreciate the fact that she has not gotten her hair done for 3 months, and tell her that you still love her natural hair color. Take a look at those stretch marks, and rather than be thankful that she has clothes to cover them up, be thankful that that was what covered up your child for 9 months. Did she patiently clean up the 3rd cup of spilled water from your toddler at dinner time? Tell her that you noticed her composure. Did she sound mature and articulate in a phone conversation you overheard her having? Tell her. Are you blown away by all the delicious meals she has prepared recently? Don't just assume she knows because you ate it all. TELL HER. We like to know that we are admired outside of when we get all dressed up, it shows us that you notice the things that are un-noticeable.

We all know you men have those "adult" thoughts throughout the day. Let us know. But not in a dirty way. Be sweet about it. Make an inside joke about it. And please don't just do it when you catch us getting dressed or stepping out of the shower. DUH. We know you want us when we are naked. Its when we are playing with the kids, or cooking dinner, or doing laundry that we feel the most undesirable, and that is the time when we could use the pick me up. AND, when the kids are in bed, and the day is done, act on those things that you said. A man that is all talk and no action gives way to the "I'm too tired" excuse.

This is a hard one to do. I get that. But give your wife the ability to be inspired. Encourage and appreciate her creative thoughts. Sometimes all it takes is a loving and supportive man to get us through our work day, to push us to complete a project, to force us into a frame of mind to be loving and creative with the kids. We know that listening about how our day went isn't always thrilling, but if you show interest, then you will be the person we look forward to being with at the end of the day.

I realize that these are easy concepts, but they are so simple that they are easy to skip over.

Maybe I am writing all this because I have seen these things in my hubbie lately. He has been through a truly stressful season at work, this week especially. Really long days, lots of problem solving and messes to clean up. And because his days have been like that, MY days have been like that. So rather than just complain about his day, he recognizes that my days have been hard too. He has picked up dinner for us 3 days this week. He has been gracious about the laundry not being done, even though he barely had any clean clothes. He has praised me for the things I have done with Mikayla. He has made me feel desired, even though I know, without a shadow of a doubt, I have looked.....and probably smelled....awful at times. He keeps his mouth shut when I am a crabby grouch in the morning. He bought me ice cream. He is apologetic. He has prayed for me. I love him to death.

So, I can truly say, that even though the long days at work have made him "too tired" lately, it is definitely not something he has heard me say J

Oh, and ladies, I will be writing to you soon, so don't think you are off the hook J

Friday, February 3, 2012

Letter Days

So on Monday I decided to start working on letters with Mikayla. I was bored with our normal day-to-day stuff, so I thought that working on a different letter each day with her would bring out some creativity in me. I think she is enjoying it, and learning little bits here and there. She does get the letters and the sounds mixed up, but I can tell that the wheels are turning. Here are some pictures and some of the activities we did.

Monday: The letter A
Apple painting
Applesauce for a Snack
Making Play-doh Apples and Alligators

Tuesday: The letter B
Painted a Brown Bear picture
Made a TP roll Bumble-Bee
Band-Aid Butterfly Picture
Bounced Balls into a Basket
Played with Bubble wrap
Played with Balloons
Read 'Brown Bear Brown Bear'

Wednesday: The Letter C
Colorful Construction paper Cat
Colorful Cup Caterpillar
Made a Card for Daddy
Built a Castle out of Blocks
Made Crowns
Read Clifford
Watched Cat in the Hat

Thursday: The Letter D
Wore a Dress
Went out for Doughnuts
Bought a new Dance Game for the Kinect:

We definitely had a lot of fun, and I am looking forward to next week already!

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Work in Progress.....

How often do you hear that saying? "Oh its still a work in progress," or as my husband at times says about himself, "I am a work in progress." Artists tend to say it when they are showing their un-finished artwork, because they don't want viewers to have a true opinion based on how it looks at that point, because it does not look the way it should or will look in the end, it may even look bad. 

Normally that saying comes as an excuse for the way something or someone is/appears/acts NOW. It lends way to the idea of "I am just human" or "Nobody is perfect."

But what if we reversed the thought to a "glass is half full" mentality. What if "a work in progress" became an indication of the beauty THAT IS TO COME? What if it gave a glimpse into the wonderful-ness (yes that is a word. My blog. My rules.) beyond the point that the "work in progress" comment was made. Suddenly, things are just a little brighter. It gives people something to look forward to instead of giving them a reason to be ok with whatever it is now.

I am tired of hearing people, Christian and non-Christian alike, say "Well he/she is a Christian, they shouldn't be doing that." or "Wow, he/she is a Christian, and they are acting that way? How hypocritical."

Here is the thing:

Being a Christian does not automatically make you faultless on this earth. Likewise, being "of the flesh" or "only human" does not let you off the hook for making bad choices. But we are God's "work in progress" and there will always be beauty beyond that point of disgrace, mistake or shame if we belong to Him. When judgement creeps up in my mind about someone who knows Christ, I hear God telling me "Just think about how much worse this situation could be if they didn't have me. They are still a work in progress, and there is goodness in their future, because I am their future."

Dear God, I will, forever and always, be a work in progress. I know that. But would you remove the negativity and show me the beauty in that statement? Would you allow me to be excited about the greatness in my future, and would you allow me to learn and move on from my mistakes. I am tired of living in a "glass is half empty" world. I want to live in the knowledge that there is goodness in my future because my future, hope, faith, love, and life is in You. Would you remove the judgement in me, and allow me to see myself especially, as well as those around me as you see them? In your righteous, blameless and hope-filled name I pray these things, AMEN.